ONLY THE LORD SHALL TAKE AWAY

Question : Who decides when to end a life?

Answer : NOT the life-bearer

You, dear reader, might wonder what has suddenly sparked this subject. It is the shocking, self-inflicted demise of a person whom I considered to be a rational, jovial and ambitious human being. I do not know the reason for this extreme step, but I am unable to come to terms with the fact that such an individual can actually go through with such a preposterous and callous act.

There cannot be a greater gift to mankind than the ability to perform any action at will - the freedom to make a choice, to love and be loved, to travel this beautiful world, to embark on a passionate dream, or to do nothing at all. And there cannot be a more blatant disregard for that pristine gift than to throw it away in a mindless, impulsive error of thought.

Also, our life is not ours alone to give away. We are just the bearers of this asset; it is much more a property of everybody else who has a stake in our existence. And since we are not the complete, rightful owners, we have no right to discard it without consent.

Of course, life is not always the joyride that we wish for, but a wave of crests and troughs. While we enjoy the crests, we often tend to resign in the troughs. I have travelled through fairly deep trenches, and I am sure so have you. All it takes to make our way up is a little courage, and a little faith. It is the plethora of such high and low experiences that is the basis of life. There cannot be perfect order in anything worldly; if there is, we would cease to exist - that is a fundamental law of nature. 

The prolific inventor Edison had a series of failures - professional and personal, before he could finally invent the electric bulb. If he had given up because of any one of those failures and chosen the quick escape route of death, he could never have touched the billions of lives that thrive today on his inventions.

If you ever find yourself harboring the slightest "self-destruct" ideas, perhaps you can remember these words. And who knows, it might help save a million more lives someday in the future.

APOCALYPSE

The world as we see it today is the outcome of a plethora of transitions that have, at times, entailed gigantic shifts in the history of the universe. Planet Earth has silently withstood the test of time, surviving catastrophic events such as meteor showers, earthquakes and the defining Ice Ages while the infinite life forms it has been host to have gradually vanished into oblivion, making way for more adaptable and superior beings. Like the changing seasons, it has been subject to constant metamorphosis - from a tiny speck prior to the 'Big Bang', to a humongous mass of solid matter containing the most wonderful of natural endowments that make it so charmingly beautiful.

And yet, come 2012, it must end.

One would never have thought the world would have been manufactured with an expiry date. Well, anybody except a few enlightened Mayans blessed with awful foresight. Perhaps they ran out of material to continue their legendary calendar post the 21st of December, 2012. Or their prediction was just an ingenious gimmick aimed at having their name inscribed forever in the pages of history even after their entire civilization was expunged from the face of the planet. Or maybe, just maybe, we are indeed approaching 'Judgement Day'.


It would be interesting to argue what would beget 'doomsday'. I have been told of possibilities ranging from  natural causes such as climate change or global warming to human blunders such as a nuclear holocaust to climaxes bordering on the insane, such as a zombie invasion. I would envision the curtains being drawn to a close after a more grandiose finish. Definitely better than cities being engulfed in a sheath of ice or flooded by ocean waters. It would be nice to go down with some noise. For example, a war between mankind and aliens would be apt. And what if, a certain John Connor eventually survives to reconstruct the human race once again.

The finale could be left to anybody's imagination. The looming question, however, is -
How long until we can confidently declare : "That's all folks !" (?)

INCOMPLETE

The sky changes colour from the bright blue of dawn to the crimson of dusk as our tenure at Roorkee comes to an end. And with it, perhaps our love for sightseeing and excursions that have managed to draw our minds away from the nettlesome clutter of engineering chores and maintain our faith in the notion that college education is every bit as fun as it is enlightening.

My aspirations for life have been vacillating ever since I was a kid - from becoming a soldier or lawyer or scientist or pilot or famous athlete, to assuming the role of the country's Prime Minister. Now when my career goals are more definitive and less obscure, I fail to fulfill the smaller ambitions that have gradually sprung into existence, and have accumulated over time, often snubbed for some higher calling, but all the same, waiting patiently for that one opportunity to present itself so that they may be heeded. For as long as they aren't met, I will be incomplete.

It seems the approaching end has once again brought my attention back to these unattended little errands. All of a sudden, I'm brimming with energy. I want to jump off a bridge and hang upside down in mid air - more popular amongst adventure entusisasts as bungee jumping. I want to tie myself to the rear of a speedboat and fly over the ocean - parasail. I want to spend nights camping by the riverside, in the warmth of a cosy bonfire, with friends for company. I have always desired to dwell in a bivouac in the forest, in the lap of resplendent nature amongst its myriad exquisite endowments. I would love to set sail on a voyage across the sea. I want to explore, to discover, and enjoy life to the fullest, before it gets too late.

There is so much left to do, yet so many constraints.
Nevertheless, it is some some before the sky will acquire a blackish tinge - time enough to make a few amends.

As they say,

Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost !

PUN - EH ?

I wake up to the peaceful quiet of a Sunday morning. The one day I’ve been waiting for so eagerly all week. Sundays, I suddenly realize, have so often been undervalued, especially when you work from dawn to dusk six days a week. No bus to hurry for, nor the 1 mile trek early morning, enduring the weight of your eyelids, struggling to keep your pace while half the world is fast asleep. You forget the fear of meddlesome co-workers; minions of evil waiting to bungle your ingeniously knit plans on the first opportunity. You begin the day in a state of beguiling, even though ephemeral, bliss. Eudaemonia.

Pune. The Chicago of India’s western plateau (yes, it’s windy too). A city known for its lifestyle, splendour and luxury cars (which have so tenaciously occupied my thoughts of late). A metallurgical and materials engineer who would otherwise have been stuck at a secluded steel plant in a corner of nowhere, would be fortunate beyond expectations to pursue his/her career in one of the country’s finest places to live in.

Luckily for me, (if I might yet confer myself the esteemed degree of an engineer) my stars have guided me to this charismatic city – abuzz with life and activity. Towering, intimidating buildings, vehicles plying all day along busy roads, the asphalt level and free of undulations. No wonder a stranger in his early days is lured by everything that meets the eye. The evening sky mirrors the fantastic synergy between clouds and the sun, a sight that every nature enthusiast would want to capture on film and tuck away somewhere safe to be preserved forever. Perhaps the only thing lacking is the north Indian cuisine. But as goes the proverb: ‘Where there is a will, there is a way’; there is nothing beyond reach, and ‘the whole world conspires to get to you what you desire for’.

Add to this a spacious apartment, a motorbike, and four ‘idiots’ all set to explore the possibilities and mysteries of this paradise of a city. Isn’t it what we set out for from Roorkee in the first place, the town we’re obliged to spend four precious years of our college life – devoid of the charm of a BMW, the heights of skyscrapers and the glimmer of night lights? I wouldn’t be surprised if one would want to join the millions living in this city as its citizens. But I guess I’d rather be content with the fresh air of the countryside, the aroma of morning dew on soft, lush green grass, and the musical sound of a gushing stream nearby. Then again, there are other things that might make this impossible – for one, I am an engineer.

BREAKING DAWN....

Dehradun
the routine day, 1995
8:00 pm

Stuffing the math home assignment into my schoolbag, I expectantly waited for dinner to be served while the newsreader on Doordarshan rattled on about the day's newsmakers, entertainers and illusive government propaganda directed towards political gain of the ruling party, especially considering the upcoming general elections (Of course nothing made sense to a standard 2 boy, solely interested in the 'Dekh Bhai Dekh' series that followed the 8'o clock news).
The day had been fun. Chasing dragonflies, playing football, discovering dominions hitherto unknown wandering through the vast 'greenlands' of SJA, and other arbit jackassery more than made up for the meagre study and scanty reading hours. A new day would commence next morning, starting 6 am - the matador would be honking at my door, waiting to ferry me through the biting cold to 5 kms away - and so after enjoying Shekhar Suman's lucid performance thoroughly with peals of genuine laughter, I retired to bed, ignorant and unconcerned of the tomorrow that was to come.


Vadodara
March 2007
9:30 pm

"Take it easy beta ! You have plenty of time left." - was mom's reaction to the way I was gorging up huge quantities of food, a spoon in one hand and my chemistry textbook in the other. Boards were knocking at my door, banging harder and harder as the time elapsed, raising dread and despair in the deepest confinements of my heart. After hours of serious pondering, I still hadn't been able to figure out the dynamics of rotation, which was resulting in a rather irritable disposition. It took a great deal of persuation by my parents to put me to sleep by midnight, assuring me I had done well enough to fetch me a 99 percentile (and weren't they right !). Horrendous dreams haunted me through the night, repercussions of having spent more time prognosticating the result of the Indo-Pak cricket series giving me the heebie-jeebies. After all, it was going to be my first step towards an ambitious career.


Roorkee
18th Feb. 2010
00:00 hours

The day has just begun. Every ray of light originating within the cosmos has vanished into thin air. Two years ago, at this time I would have been sound asleep. Today, life has assumed a nocturnal demeanour. The ecstasy of unperturbed slumber has long been forgone.
The midsems begin 10 hours from now, but I haven't commenced preparations, yet I couldn't worry less. I have the whole night to myself, time long enough to make amends. Staring blankly into the pages of a book that had until this time been lying in a corner, carefully preserved under a film of dust, I embark upon a voyage through the ocean of discreet 'fundas' and temporal laws without further ado. I might not be able to complete my journey, but the tools of conjecture and expression would come in handy to serve my purpose of making it through the stipulated 1 hour trial of mental ability, reasoning and mugging.

Even though I have already wasted much time writing this post, I gain inspiration from Robert Frost's beautiful lines of poetry:

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And Miles to go before I sleep
And Miles to go before I sleep....."

THE ADVENTURE

Suddenly, I heard the rustle of leaves and there, standing in front of me was a giant T-Rex, exactly similar to the ones I had seen on television in ‘Jurassic Park’ the previous day – apart from the fact it hadn’t been created by some fancy computer program. I recalled what the hero had instructed his team to do in order to escape being mauled by the hideous creature – not to move a muscle; only I had no team, and neither was I acting in a movie. Nevertheless, I wasn’t a palaeontologist, and no other idea happened to cross my mind at that time. I could feel its warm breath on my face as it scrutinised the stranger that had wandered into its territory. As I stood motionless, still as a rock, I couldn’t help wondering how I had arrived into this unknown, dark, prehistoric jungle where dinosaurs walked amongst thick tress and humid environs, a stream running through the dense growth.

I was playing cricket with my friends after a long time, and needed a four off the last ball of my innings to win. The bowler hurled towards me a bouncer on the off stump and making room, I heaved my bat to play that glorious upper cut the Master Blaster had first introduced into world cricket. I won with a six, the ball disappearing into the distance among tall grass and weeds. I was filled with a sense of pride, but it seemed my friends weren’t – nobody else had any more energy left to retrieve the ball. Vitalised by victory, I jogged to where it had fallen. It was lying in a trench I never knew had existed. As I climbed down into the ditch, it caved in, and I found myself falling through darkness, for an infinite time, blackness increasing as I descended. I felt relieved when finally I bumped into solid ground. But there was nothing to be pleased about. I had landed in this forest, lost and bewildered.

I saw giant creatures I had only read about in books – maybe I was dreaming, maybe this wasn’t real at all – how could it be, unless I had travelled in time to millions of years back the timeline. I pinched myself, and it hurt, filling my inner self with dread and despair. How could I ever get out of this place? I wandered around, looking for help, but there was none I could fathom. And thus, I had encountered this monster, and now I stood petrified for dear life.

It worked. I could feel the earth becoming lighter again, as it receded away, uninterested in the statue of a man transfixed by terror. Cautious about the dangers that awaited me, I then resumed my adventure in hope of returning to the comfort of my bed and the excitement of my precious PS2, which, now, seemed like a gloomy prospect. Treading through the rugged terrain, I finally came to a place where the forest seemed to end its domain abruptly. I was staring at a wooden cottage, conspicuously standing alone in the wilderness, and I was once again baffled by the turn of events. But there was something else that was about to throw me into a tizzy. I went inside to look if it was inhabited. Turned out it was. A bony, green weirdo with a bulging head and disproportionate body popped out of nowhere and without stopping for breath (perhaps ignorant of my state of mind), told me “Congratulations Sir ! you are the first person on Earth to have discovered the secret land of ‘Nothinglikethisexists’ and are therefore, the rightful winner of our first prize – an all expenses paid trip to Mars, the land that boasts of the finest school of magic – Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Oh, and I forgot to mention, you’re a wizard. Here’s your conveyance.” ‘It’ signalled towards a shuttle floating in mid-air. Exhilarated, I boarded the ship that would fly me all the way to realms unseen by the common man. An alarm sounding like bells clanging aloud went off, indicating my ship was ready for take-off. But gradually, the sound of the bells faded off into the distance, replaced by shouts of “Wake up! It’s 9:30 in the morning. How come you’ve become so lazy?”

Mom was trying to awaken me after I’d slept for 10 hours straight. Well, one doesn’t enjoy that luxury at IITR; so I wasn’t to blame. Besides, what else are holidays meant for than to make up for things we crave for in college - including peaceful slumber? I wonder if she hadn’t, I would have been the first one on Earth to set foot on Mars, and Hogwarts !